I have discovered that my sense of humour is truly the most disturbing this about me. Now this type of humour is not just watching someone get kicked in the nuts for my entertainment. My type of humour is when someone who thinks they’re getting promoted ends up getting fired publicly. My type of humour is when a white person is singing out loud on their Ipod and yells “nigger” in a subway car full of black people. My type of humour is sick and sadistic.
You know what else is funny? Inappropriate language. Saying “fuck” and “shit” just make me feel so good. I dont know whether or not its because saying four letter words make you feel better about yourself psychologically (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-swear) or the fact that I love watching the shock on peoples faces when I say “I don’t give a fucking shit what he thinks he can suck my dick” There are words which I refrain from using such as “fag” and “cunt” for two reasons:
1. I grew up with female rights parents. Therefore I don’t say cunt
2. I hate people who are homophobic. Frankly they shouldn’t be allowed to marry.
Saying inappropriate words at the most opportune times is also extremely wonderful. When at school just drop a casual “fuck” into your presentation to try to use it in a relatable way to the topic. “As the great Thomas Jefferson said ‘fuck da police’” (He didn’t actually say that but you get my drift) This always catches everyone off guard and the teacher either looks shocked and cant do anything or they look extremely pleased.
There is a time and a place for swearing though. At my place of work I don’t swear. Ever. There is a time and a place for swearing and that time and place is not in front of small children who you are responsible for at your job. It just shouldn’t be done.
Humour is what keeps me going. If “Seinfeld” “Curb Your Enthusiasm” “VEEP” or any other tv show from England didn’t exist I would probably be a serial killer by now.